I Want Him to Fly!

I think I’ve been reading A Diary Of a Mom too much lately…but it really is easier than retyping it all lol. This was a comment I made on a question this morning in a Facebook group in response to a mom who was worried about her son still being nonspeaking at 3 and looking for hope.

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That last part, folks, is a place it took me a while to get to…but you know what? I’m happy here in this place. I have a healthy, happy little boy who “tells” me he loves me in so many different ways every day. Words are nice…but I’d rather have this over actual spoken words said in disassociated rote memorization to get a reward. He loves me with every fiber of his being, and with his whole self…just as is his joy, pain (I’m not as big a fan of that being a whole self experience…I’m still a mom), excitement, and curiosity. It is pure and unadulterated by social rules, and expectations that most start to understand at way too early of an age.

So many of us start life with this exuberance only to have it tamped down…I know that probably even now his wings are being chipped at but I’m not going to be the one to do it. I want him to fly!

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9 thoughts on “I Want Him to Fly!

  1. Hi there. I am so glad I found your blog. My son Cooper turned 3 in December and has no words yet. He is very vocal but only makes vowel sounds. He ‘may’ have Apraxia but no diagnosis yet. We are also dancing around the autism diagnosis as well. He falls on the spectrum in all areas except for the social aspect. It is such a tough journey. Yes, joyous and amazing but also frustrating and sad. I am always, always, always looking for other moms going through my journey. Glad I found you!

    • We are dancing around the apraxia too…especially since he also has other motor planning issues. But in all honesty he doesn’t mimic often so the diagnosis really wouldn’t help much since all the apraxia treatments rely on at least an attempt at repeating. Everyone always tries to say that autistic kids are behind on development…but I prefer to think theyre just on a different path alltogether. Thanks for stopping by and hope I can be of some help to you 🙂

      • Wow that sounds exactly like us. In the past month or so Cooper has just now decided that he wants to communicate. And by that I mean he has lots and lots of sounds. He has NEVER mimicked. I also have a 1 year old and I am blown away by his mimicking. I had no idea. He tries everything where Cooper doesn’t. This is going to sound really weird (maybe not) but my number one question is ‘why’ doesn’t he talk? I know it won’t change anything but I NEED to know. It is apraxia? Is it autism? What is it? It is all so scary. Is your son vocal? We struggle to get Cooper to make any other sound besides vowels. Ugh.

        • He mostly makes vowel sounds but has been starting to make other mouth movements for consonants sometimes accidentally throwing them in. He has one basic “word” which is something like yeah or NYEAH which generally means agreement with whatever question was asked or whatever item in the list he wants. As far as why, in both cases it’s essentially a motor planning problem. A neuro typical person thinks a word, it travels down a path to our lips, tongue teeth throat etc. what happens w the motor planning is that signal somehow gets lost or misdirected. That’s why sign, and other alternative communication can actually help. Pairing the word with a movement and hearing it possibly attempting to say it helps strengthen those pathways or reroute them. Geez this is turning into a book but if you have a combo of autism and apraxia the above still applies but you add in any number of sensory, distractions, over active brain and body to all that making it more difficult.

          As I said in the post…it’s taken a while for me to get here…reading autistics own stories and those of their allies (like me) have helped me shift my focus and thinking to get to where I am now.

          • And especially in aspergers/hfa social aspects are not an automatic no to autism, especially at his age. My older son likes to be around others and be friends but it wasn’t until he got older and the social rules started getting more complex that it became apparent. The defining social characteristic in a lot of cases is the inability to understand nonverbal cues, implied social rules, etc

  2. Pingback: Opposite Ends of the Spectrum Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014 | Opposite Ends of the Spectrum

  3. Pingback: Opposite Ends of the Spectrum Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014 | Autism Positivity Day Flash Blog

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