Why I Will Not Finish Writing My Book

Off topic of my regular writing…but THIS is what angers me and THIS is what scares the shit out of me about my kids future. To spend a lifetime teaching them to the best of my ability to go out and DO to embrace their neurology and not let it stop them from whatever they might have a mind to do. That most likely the screwed up system supposedly in place to support them could be the one to crush them. Just grrrr…I have no words. And no, this is not the first time i have encountered this…i see many of the autistic people, who work tirelessly and selflessly to help make a better world for my kids, struggling to get by…to prove themselves in a world that prefers they sit down and shut up and spend eternity making rubber band balls and coloring.

Hey Mikey I Think He Likes It!

Well despite having to tear it down and start over 3x (and the accompanying sore muscles) E finally got to see his birthday/Christmas present. Hard to believe this is the kid who just last year couldn’t jump without support. Sometimes the progress is so gradual you don’t notice it day to day, but it is always there if you look. He does things on his own schedule, but he gets them done 🙂

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What Is Love

Happy Valentines Day everyone!  The following is my submission to todays Love Not Fear Flashblog…I encourage you to go check out all the awesomeness going on there today!

What is love?

Love is…laying open your heart, mind, flaws, idiosyncrasies…knowing they could be used against you.

Love is…answering a question for the thousandth time, searching for the right words to finally make the point understood.

Love is…voluntarily spending time under the microscope of which you’ve lived your entire life in the crosshairs.

Love is…doing all this for someone you have never, and may never meet, so that….just maybe…they will never know the life you did.

LOVE IS…AUTISTICS SPEAKING.

As the parent of two autistic children, I can never thank the autistic community enough for reaching out, for being patient with us, for risking themselves to try and make a better life for the next generation.

YOU ARE BEING HEARD…it may sometimes not feel that way, but two boys lives are better because of you. When it seems no one is listening know that you DO make a difference…and I hope that knowledge makes all the rest worthwhile.

Love Not Fear

Contributing to the signal boost 🙂

Musings of an Aspie

There’s a flash blog this Friday. I’m posting my contribution early to signal boost a bit – entries are due by Thursday at 12:00 PM, so if you’re going to join in the fun, you should get cracking! Click on the image for more details.

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Love not fear. I’m finding this prompt hard to write about because, for me, love goes hand-in-hand with fear. To love someone is an act of great vulnerability. It opens us up to the possibility of loss and pain, and that’s frightening.

To love a child is an especially vulnerable act. In addition to all of the other fears that relationships can bring, there is a special fear that comes with parenting: the fear of failing our child.

Parenting is hard and confusing and by nature we all go into as rank newbies. What if we get it wrong? What if we make a…

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The One Where I Talk About Why Talking is Hard

I think this is a very good explanation, both verbally and visually (you can see the struggle) of why there is often such a gap between written and spoken language among autistic people.

Musings of an Aspie

Today, I’m interrupting the sensory processing series to do something a little different. Okay, a lot different. I had originally planned to make a video blog about sensory diet to run today. What happened instead was a video about why talking is hard.

About 45 minutes into a very frustrating attempt at speaking on video, I gave up. I was ready to walk away from the process when The Scientist asked me to describe what I was feeling. Mostly I was feeling frustrated and angry with myself, but I eventually got past that and managed to talk a little about why I have so much difficulty speaking in this type of situation.

The short answer: The thinking and speaking parts of my brain seem to compete for resources, making it harder for me to organize my thoughts when I speak versus when I write. When I see how much I…

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