UGH! Spoonfed hopelessness…

UGH!

I’m sorry but IMO this kind of hopeless thinking and mindset is why severely autistic kids are being murdered by their families…makes me want to vomit.  I heard the best explanation for autistic peoples meltdowns/behaviors the other day from a young woman (admittedly “high functioning”) who explained it like this…she likened meltdowns and behaviors to an infant crying…the infant can’t handle whatever is going on and cries because thats all that they have the ability to do…would you force an infant to stop crying? and how? yelling or trying would just lead to an escalation and more crying…would you punish them or think less of them for crying…how about we fix the infant crying epidemic in this world…99/100 infants cry…we need to find a cure for infant crying NOW!

Ok in all seriousness though, this is not the worst article I’ve seen by any means but has all the common elements of mainstream autism “education”…yes I understand Autism is hard sometimes I live it every day…maybe a lot of the time depending on your situation.  I have an Aspie who never learned coping mechanisms and has massive meltdowns, and one of those non verbal but extremely intelligent ones she talks about who is teaching himself coping and had all the early intervention (well sort of…standard therapies only he doesnt get “autism” therapy) but cant talk and still won’t wave bye bye…so according to the criteria am I “lucky” or not?

Articles like this and other mainstream autism literature lead parents of more severely autistic children to believe that there is no hope and that they’re going to be miserable the rest of their child’s life until they die and then their child will have no one and who knows what will happen? Am I saying that loving and accepting your child, and trying to listen to what they say (with words OR actions) and give them what THEY need (not necessarily what you’ll hear from every direction that they need) will magically turn them into a less difficult autistic child who will suddenly start speaking full sentences? ummm no…I have no idea…I think that a better quality of life and a more peaceful existence is possible…the point is this:

Parents go to the experts and mainstream ideas looking for advice…that crap is what they get…so tell me what happens then? Because they were basically told by someone with some kind of credentials (who of course must know what they’re talking about) that they were going to be miserable for the rest of their life and all they can do is hope for a cure …thats what they believe…and when you believe you’re going to be miserable and shackled to this child for the rest of your life with no hope except for a cure then guess what happens? there is about a 99% that you are going to be miserable and hopeless and overwhelmed by the thought of this being your life forever…and we wonder why kids die?

I’ll reiterate what I say every…single…time…READ what autistics themselves have to say not all this BS (and the list of parent autism bloggers who “get it” is fairly short at this point so be careful with those).  Yes, a lot of the bloggers are “high functioning”, but there are some nonverbal ones too…people who used to be thought of as those poor ppl in need of a cure she points at but who finally found a way to say “that’s NOT who I am!” and even a lot of the verbal autistics blogs are helpful in just understanding how the autistic mind works in general.  USE them to get into your childs head…to get a jumping off point, to get ideas…somewhere to start.

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